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Good Time Sunshine Holiday

from Cookery Tips for the Apocalypse by Mallard the Wonderdog

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lyrics

Caught it on the morning news/nasty virus on the loose/high chance that it could be caught/on the public transport/and normally I might not care/but work is miles over there/and as the car's in for repair/I'm sitting on a sticky chair/now I'm seeing germs most everywhere/on dirty hands
in greasy hair/Is everyone else unaware/a murderer is in the air?/A man gets on at snails pace/he sits beside me I make space/he rubs a hanky bout the place/and proceeds to cough in my face

Sat at home on normal pay/box set of The Wire to play/food increasingly gourmet/but it don't feel like a holiday/All the kids are home to stay/white wine spritzer sun cream spray/sipping on my chardonnay/but it don't feel like a holiday today

It's evident its obvious/I don't intend to cause a fuss/but this old bugger on the bus/could surely be the death of us/and if we must get technical/this bespectacled testicle/could splutter and infect us all/and make a mucky mesticle/Anxiety takes hold of me/I leave the bus three stops early/then nip into a Maccy D's/to wash my hands and face and knees/but on the way out of the store/I see a child of three or four/who sneezes snot upon the door/don't want to be here anymore

The sky is blue no signs of grey/there's me and you and we're OK/we're not at work we're both at play/but it don't feel like a holiday/All commitments kept at bay/could be Turin or LA/so why are we in disarray?/It don't feel like a holiday/I'm baking brioche throwing clay/my wife is learning to crochet/my family are miles away/but it don't feel like a holiday/when walking at a sandy bay/2 meter rule sign on display/it's sounding like an old cliche/but it don't feel like a holiday today

Each pedestrian starts to stray/a tad too close I can't give way/I don't want my lungs to decay/it don't feel like a holiday/Not in the mood for street foreplay/I try pedestrian ballet/now I look nuts and have to say/it don't feel like a holiday/News reports say Covid may/get in your lungs and turn them grey/online shopping slight delay/it don't feel like a holiday/The nurse checks out your lingerie/the ventilator heads your way/you've never been the type to pray/but it don't feel like a holiday today.

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from Cookery Tips for the Apocalypse, released November 4, 2020

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Mallard the Wonderdog is a crime-fighting dog.

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