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Wear a Mask Wash Yr Hands

from Cookery Tips for the Apocalypse by Mallard the Wonderdog

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lyrics

Wear a mask wash your hands It's not that hard to understand Are you an idiot? You certainly seem to be a massive fucking idiot

I remember when going to see a film was not a frightening proposition/there was rarely opposition to a cinematic mission/Impossible to envision chains regaining their position/As the
Covid grows unbidden an unwinnable collision

I Remember last December before Johnson started gurning/When Contagion was a movie not a thing to find concerning/Now we're shitting bricks but Netflix picks it up for streaming earnings/It was all there for the learning get the Covid corpses burning

I Remember when we looked askance at China who were tryna put the paste back in the tube/The virus took them up the arse without the benefit of lube/An attitude that it would not succeed in England made us rubes/We carried on watching the news not washing hands and scratching pubes

We looked on bitterly as Italy was hammered by the 'vid/We took to Twitter free to liberally call them out when they did/not lock down soon enough to sell more stuff to tourists and to kids/Gap year in Roma caught the 'rona can't go homa God forbid

If your house is made of glass put down the stones/Before judging other countries you should fix your own/If you want to be alive in 2021 go home/to wash your hands and stay indoors until its safe again to roam

We're being governed by the cretinous who only help themselves/They're more concerned with filthy lucre than the nation's mental health/They say protect the NHS but then they privatise by stealth/They'd have you strung up by your bollocks if you
questioned all their wealth

You're well on your way to an idiot certificate

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from Cookery Tips for the Apocalypse, released November 4, 2020

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Mallard the Wonderdog is a crime-fighting dog.

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